Shadowdark #12 'Karlyle saves the day!' or 'Gary the sh1t goblin...'

 When we last left our heroes(!), they faced a goblin horde (well, a horde implies danger - not so sure about these lil green dudes)...who match their uselessness with an ability to make random grenades from crap, spores and other less than wholesome ingredients...

'That's not soap dude!'

Climbing into 'piles', they ascend across the shield wall presented by the magical artifact  'Mountainhome' ...though the characters, using Dagmar's light spell, and some theatrics with swords, manage to deflect the attack as the goblins retreat..not least because one of their number fumbles his grenade chuck, is covered in brown stuff, and has light cast upon him, driving the goblin horde nutz! (Christened 'gary' by the party...)

'A bright shining lump of cr*p'

The Mushroom hall

 Coming up with an idea to make ear-muffs from mushroom bits and centipede-legs to combat the 'shroom-shrieks (TM)', the party wipe out most of the remaining gobbos in the shroom hall.

The party manages to free Justin Munchburger and his wife Debbie before they were to be Goblin King Take-away (now that's magic!) and Jeralt takes them home aboard the Griffin...Drusus, the eldest of the brothers, seems less than happy to see them however (curious) and Jeralt lets Maureen the witch know what is happening, including the fact that that they have determined that her wand was traded for the prisoners - and is now in the hands of the Orc chief: White-eye ..she gives him a ring of invisibility to give to Dagmara, and tells him to be careful of the orc caves...'many have died there!'. 

'try not to die dude!...oh yeah, and get my wand back'

Reconnoitering the next cavern, and using information provided by Bruno the scientist... the characters determine that the Goblin King (not that one! jump magic jump...though he does have a blonde wig), is protected by large bodyguard goblins with explosive runes which make them blow when reduced to 0hp...not good (beep beep beep BEEEEEP)..

' i mean I think I look like David Bowie, no?'

 They elect to take a rest before descending next day into the the King's chamber, hearing armoured hobgoblin activity on the next level, that night...

It all starts so well, until Bruno tries to kill Dagmara (apparently having been hit by a spell from the Goblin King), is summarily dispatched, and the characters rush the chamber...of course Jeralt chucks a bunch of marbles to disorient the bodyguards, though this does not go well, and many of the characters on both sides end up on their a*se.

 

Uhh lots of floor clutter ...careful now, mind how you go. Do you have a Risk Assessment and Method Statement?

Elfin John, the 'new guy', sprints across the cavern to get a backstab on the King, and gets slotted by two bodyguards, bleeding to death on the floor (another new character required please - one more for the 'whiteboard o' death'). 

'

'Clear off halfling! ...dwarf...whatever ye are!'

An invisible Leeta the halfling/dwarf fighter, manages to stealth  her way to the spellcasting Goblin King, and stops two goblins raising the grille to the giant centipede lair...later fumbling on a '1' and whacking Jeralt the Paladin cold accidentally, as he follows to help her (oops).

'uhhh why did you hit me Leeta? '

Leeta also gets smacked to zero hp by the goblin bodyguards - who have been exploding on cue and damaging the characters when they expire. Dagmara ALSO is put to zero hp by a bodyguard - at this stage - HALF the party are down, spread all over the complex, and set to expire, one after the other.

Bjorn does some serious damage, as Karlyle the Priest, makes it his mission to rescue ...everyone. After securing Dagmara behind the Mountainhome shield wall, he races back toward the goblin King's chamber, with the invisibility ring allowing him to avoid the fight between the Goblin King and Bjorn...He has ONE chance to save Leeta, then Jeralt , as they are set to die one turn after he gets there...he needs to roll a 14 to save them from insta-death by binding their wounds...and manages to make BOTH ROLLS...give that man a sandwich! 

'

'Come adventure with us they said. There won't be any real danger, they said! Pfffft!'

 Back to (almost...remember Elfin John?) full strength. They raid the King's secret store, lucky to be alive...finding scrolls and a rather strange 'all seeing eye of truth' spyglass...fun!

Flying back, dressing their wounds...Leeta snatches a glance through the all seeing eye, catching a glimpse of Lord Trum watching them come in to land.,,seeing his TRUE form...and it is not good!

The true form of the head of the citadel...I mean, what could go wrong?

Call of Cthulhu, Episode #19; 'Who's going in First?'

During the night, McDade hears a dull roar in the bowels of the ship - I'm sure it was nothing, he reassures himself. Having become the reluctant hero of the voyage thanks to his saving of the Russian Count, McDade gets 'the eye' from the rich 'recently widowed heiresses' on their way to new York with chaperones (clearly more than we ever thought). The previous night, he swore he heard a dull roar in the bowels of the ship - I'm sure it was nothing, he reassures himself.

One lady in particular takes his eye, and he arranges to have dinner with Lady Roseanna Thorpe, of the Dewberry Thorpes, later in the day...little realising that it will be quite the afternoon on-board, even before dinner is served (it's steak night!).

That McDade dude gets around - must be the Scottish accent

 McDade, McLeoud and the Professor, wondering what has happened to Sinead, venture toward her cabin..where they discover a trail of watery 'something', and a sulfurous odour all along the deck. There also appears to be much consternation amongst the Purser's former staff, and he is nowhere to be found.

Rather than knocking upon the door of Sinead's stateroom, our intrepid investigators pick the lock and break in - clearly expecting trouble - though only finding her sleeping, and a strange wet watery seaweed smell in the room (and not in a good way), corroborating with what had been dragged there...interesting. Sinead wakes up with a start, wondering just what the hell they are all doing in her stateroom and shoos them out. Being gentlemen, they all of course leave valiantly, concerned only that Sinead seems 'fine'.

'Can't you see I'm busy?'

 But something is clearly awry on the lower deck; interrogating and fast-talking some of the Purser's men, they determine that his second - Frederick - is clearly very upset about something, and convince him to tell all...

Taking McDade and McLeoud to the Engine room, he shows the characters a bloody house of horror (roll SAN) where some 'thing'; has torn the former engine room native staff, limb from limb (literally). Amongst them lies the Purser - in bits! Fredrick explains that they have explained to the captain, who has enough problems it seems, but has undertaken to have search parties find 'whatever did this' with some shotguns and torches - believing that it is in the cargo hold. 

McLeoud easily convinces Frederick, that what they are dealing with, is a large feral Gorilla...and it is clearly looking for its mate. Frederick swallows nervously: "you mean there are two of them, and one is a lay-dee?"

 

Now that would definitely be a SAN roll!

Forming search parties, they convene on the large cofferdam like cargo holds to starboard, where coincidentally, McLeoud also saw his Lewis gun being loaded. 

'Who's going in first?' 

'You guys go in first!!!...oh go on pleease...'

 Entering the central hold, and checking the perimeter, whilst McDade takes a party up the middle - a hideous partial remnant of one of the native engineers is thrown from atop the stacked crates, slamming meatily against the steel bulkhead...

McDade manages to grit his teeth and go on, as McLeoud goes NUTS! (SAN roll) - seeing the clawed, heavy limbed, horrifically-faced monstrosity that is the Dimensional Shambler, eating a head and sitting atop the crates above them...Does he cower away in the corner? Does he scream unintelligibly? Nooo...he charges the thing (having gone temporarily insane), vaulting onto the stack of crates and climbing up like a madman.

McLeoud 'close assaults' the storage racking

 McDade pulls out the alien weapon that he picked up from the snake men a few episodes ago, and risks a shot, narrowly missing the raving McLeoud and wounding the beast with the death ray, then tries to follow his friend with Frederick in tow - the rest of the crew 'watching them heroically'. 

'alright, alriiight, ye can borrow it...'

 McLeoud empties round after round into the thing running straight at it, as it opens its maw, and readies its claws for its next meal...rolling a CRIT!...gripping him with its claw (and following with almost the least amount of rolled damage possible).

Is it even possible to statistically roll this little damage???

 

 McLeoud is still alive incredibly - blasting away, held by the thing, as McDade arrives with Frederick, shooting it again with the death ray...this time a little too close to McLeoud who suffers burns, and worse, from being so close to the alien device...and eventually the Dimensional Shambler tumbles down, dead..melting into nothingness.

Today Matthew - I am not a Balrog, but a Dimensional Shambler!!!

McDade calms McLeoud and advises a bemused Frederick to tell the captain that they had 'a giant tropical gorilla problem', which he and some passengers helped get rid of, and throw out into the ocean...sounds completely flawless! A panicked Frederick goes with the story, and ushers the crew away. ...but they all know what they saw...

Whatever happened, whatever 'deviltry' this is; the characters are reasonably sure it is all Sinead's fault... 

That night at dinner, Lady Thorpe asks McDade how his day was...

McDade knocks back the double whiskey...'ummmm...well, you wouldn't believe it my dear!'

'Oh it was just another day, stopping Cthulhu and his minions from eating the world dear...'

 

Shadowdark #11 ...'Can I have your Griffin?...oh go on...'

 Driving back the mischievous (and numerous) pack of goblins, noting their preference for chucking bags of 'explosive centipede crap' (which should probably be the title of this post) the party makes its way in the goblin caverns...noting a large sentient mushroom, being distracted and put off (with disadvantage) by its shriek (clearly fearing the frying pan).

Is that a giant centipede? ...or are you just pleased to see me?

 As they cover their ears, a large , giant, two-headed (of course) centipede attacks...as the crush of goblins watch from the sideline...and Elfin John gets behind for a backstab.

Ohhh AI...wrong goblins entirely!

 

 As most of the party fight it out, Dagmara, not one for messy fighting..and noting that the goblins do not like her 'light' spell, finds a hidden room.

'A secret lab in the goblin caves? How very unlikely!!!'

Inside, is that most unlikely of characters - Bruno the Scientist, seemingly allowed to pursue his 'goblin research' work since the goblins believe that his plague mask is actually his face. Altogether more interesting is the map of the keep belonging to Lord Trum amongst his wares.

'You seem trustworthy...'

He tells the party that he is researching the emergence of the monsters in the caves, and refers to hobgoblins in the upper reaches...wondering if the characters own the griffin he has seen and if...he might 'have it for himself'? He also tells the party that two human prisoners are held - for dinner, to be eaten by no less than the Goblin King himself. Clearly the merchants the party seeks.

Nahhhh...still wrong

 Giving a firm no to the griffin proposal, the party pursue the goblins..into their 'birthing' shroom lair...place...the biology of which bears no thinking about, but the characters remain convinced that the goblins love mushrooms...very much.

Much better!

 Facing an utter horde of green. smiley. vile little gits whose 'tee hee hee'ing is getting annoying...the party 'power up' the Magic Dwarven Shield - 'Mountainhome (TM)'...and form a bulwark, ready for the attack.

Mountainhome vs the Green Horde!

Brave Sir Robin ...I mean Jeralt...buggers off

Their aim, is to find the merchants they seek, and to eliminate the Goblin King...and probably he does not look like this one: