Shadowdark #14: 'Join ME and together we will rule the kingdom as Father and son...I mean daughter...'

 Joining our heroes once more, as they make their way through the secret way, trailing a surviving orc, straight into what appears to be the bandit lair.

uhhh...ok?

 ...a seemingly useless guard, finds some use in his dying moments...and scrams a warning, such that Fergus the disgraced knight and his fam...get the heck out of their living room, and alert the rest of the bandit compound to the presence of intruders.Teh place is coming down with smuggled trade goods, and anti magic powder...(as opposed to coming down with smuggled white goods, as that would be washing machines, and that's not half as exciting).

'It's ok...I'm sure there won't be a clatter of bandits at the other end....'

 Added to the party's  ill fortune is the fact that the Orc Leader 'Ruckin White-eye' is now approaching with his tattooed 'protection rune' guards, from the other end.

'Spare the girl!' he screams. "She is my fam!'

 Combat ensures at both ends of the party, with Bjorn and Jeralt heroically fighting off the bandits, whilst Nijel the (new)cleric of eeevil, Leeta, Dagmara and (not) Llewellen  ...Lyall, that's it, defend against the orcs.

It seems dire, though manageable until, White-eye screams at Dagmara the half orc 'The Witch Maureen never told you what happened to your FATHA!" (you can see where this is going right?)

Dagmara is perplexed in a 'wtf' kind of way., as White-Eye announces "I am your FATHA!"...that is bad enough, but more distracting is the fact that ...'and Maureen the witch, is your MUTHA!'  ...(sound of screeching wheels and needle jumps on records on the movie track)... 

perplexed in a wtf kind of way ...obviously

 Wide eyed, she uses the Witch ring to turn invisible and distracts herself by searching the bandit Lord Fergus's apartments, finding paperwork enough to sow confusion at the keep as to who is really behind what, and 400 odd gold pieces.

 

As the party rear pulls back to the party front at the bandit fight, seeing a way out via the entrance to the cave, Jeralt pulls an absolute flanker...and not in a good way.

 

Rolling a 1 for a fumble, he manages to get to roll 3 times on the table, whacking his ally Bjorn for max damage (ouch), beaking his sword in the process (double ouch)...oh, and twisting his wee ankle. Poor lad. 

'oops, sorry mate...I didn't read the Risk Assessment!'

 Back at the orcs, Lyall manages to steal the back-scratcher that White-eye has at his belt, realising that it is Maureen's long lost wand 'I'll have that!'

"we got the wand - RUN!'

 The rear of the party runs for it, ...as white-eye catches up with the slowest and splatters Nijel the Cleric all over the floor (new members of the Party appear to be like Spinal Tap drummers at this rate).

Another unknown drummer goes down...

 They manage to force the bandits back, and hold off White-Eye who tries to convince Dagmara to 'join him and rule the galaxy..i mean the valley..side by side' . 'Not until I have had a word with me Mum about this confusing and yet dramatic situation!', Dagmara shouts back, in not so many words.

"Stay 

"STAY BACK! I have a sword and a bloke that keeps fumbling! ...and my injury claim is PENDING!'

 Jeralt, manages to whistle for the griffin transport, and they start to get out, the trap at the cavemouth spotted by Jeralt as he jumps over it, whilst carrying the wand wielding Lyall...and they ultimately get away.

'GO! GO! GO!'

 there may be questions to answer back home... 

'ummm...did I forget to tell you?'