Aaaaand we're back...again! Apparently Great Cthulhu is upset

 On the 4th anniversary of the 6th regenerative rub at re-beginning, the blog that will eternal lie (in true politician style - see what I did there...) - I HAVE RETURNED.

In this episode of 'Return of the Keeper of Arcane Lore Who Never Came back... I am re-constituting this (apparently Fantasy Wargaming) Blog into an RPG 'thing', mainly since after my 5e D&D expedition(s), I am now running the one true game - Call of Cthulhu.

Currently running this campaign every other week, and likely to run it again on a weekly basis with a different group: 

 Now, if I am good, and blog in timely fashion..updates may appear here, with character details etc., as I might also run...this (yes - that 1st edition version...I am what you might call a Tradionalist - watch this space):  

  

Now, Call of Cthulhu has been on my shelves for many a year (Ed: tell the truth - since 1984) - in fact I may have sold more of it off, than I currently have, but I am resisting the temptation to buy it all back from ebay...so far. Of course, I am running a mish-mash lying between 2nd, 4th and Edition 5.6 - I mentioned Tradition right?

Did I mention the Fantasy Wargaming blog is now an RPG 'thing'? 

 

That movie was crap!

 Having extolled the relative inadequacies of 'Napoleon' on my other blog, I finally got to see the D&D movie. I thought Napoleon was baaad but as for D&D - What a load of shit! Acting, plotting, story, ...the poor and obvious choices made re. casting. GAHHH! What the f**k?... this movie is not D&D!

Now, for a better old school Sword & Sorcery movie - try this:

It never gets old...and is where Fantasy RPG really lies...check out Appendix N in the 1st ed AD&D...

That is not dead which can eternal lie...

As H.P.Lovecraft said, 'that is not dead which can eternal lie', and I can really tell some whoppers!

(Wait ...is he talking about lying...or 'lie'ing ...)

Enough! This blog is not dead. Here's the best sketch Monty Python ever did to prove it:

So things must be serious ...since I did a map?

As Blogmaster, I have decided that a MAP is required.

Yeah, I did a map of the world of 'Upnoth' (Up North ...like Ooop Noth ...geddit? ....)

Anyway, here are the key things to get before the fighting starts:

• 'UpNoth', in the north (duhh) holds the remnants of various city states and mercenary bands, including religious zealot style Knights of Ken at Lodge, and the market town of Spar (see what I did there).

• Parsnip Pass to the south is strategically vital to all - to the west of this resides the Witch Queen of Portmuck and her dark hordes of Mordor...I mean... just her dark hordes.

• Elves and Dwarves in the forests and Sh*tstorm Mountains respectively.

• The Roly Homan Empire to the south - a vast array of politicking squabblers. North of the Forest of Coe, resides Lord Seb himself.

• Off the coast, the ancient mystical island of MelenieBone Eh? ...still threatens to enslave all races as it did thousands of years ago. Derek of MelenieBone Eh? is still the Shadishah Emperor sitting astride the Booby throne (when he's not too tired).

It's all set for mass slaughter! aaaaaand FIGHT!

The blog lives on...

No real posts for the blog re. wargaming...but these guys are awesome, and somehow this song seems most appropriate for the content of the blog in general.

Charlie's Angels

So, finishing these three gals from Bronze Age Miniatures, inspired me to get going again...and no, they aren't wearing bras.

Also tinkering with these fine rules with which to integrate some 'days of HIiiiiigh Adventuuuurrrre' into some Conan-esque gaming, though of course set in the land of the Witch Queen.

Apparently , Charlie's Angels was originally known as 'Jiggle TV'. Bearing in mind the more barbarian-esque nature of what we have here, I can't even begin to imagine what the sword & sorcery version might be called...

The 'Angels'

Sabrina - the planner, uhhh, there for comedy value.

Jill or Kris - depending on when you started watching - expert archer.

Kelly - the sensible one (wait...sensible? Female barbarians in Sword & Sorcery...sensible?)

'We are not amused...why, they don't even have an armour class?'

 ' 'Ere...what about the rest of your female fantasy figures mate?  GRRR...jealous.'

Bring me Sunshine...

'Tis said that The Witch Queen was married once, and so we must reveal the identity of our chronicler...

Arik MorKom was once a fearless warrior, and 'tis said that he cruelly defeated the Black Knight of Shatner ...just so he could cross a bloody bridge!

But, that was many years ago. He met Shirley...ah..the Witch Queen when she was but an apprentice pants-scraper in the kitchens of the Sorceror Arsun Vanger.

Arik's knowledge was vast...and 'tis said that he showed the Witch Queen such feats of magic, that she realised that she could probably just kill the old codger and be done with it (rumour 'as it, she was shaggin' the milkman - that is..the dread Milk Merchant Saris..Kar  (get on with it!))

Yes..right...anyway, if proof were needed...

It all ended badly. Now the MorKom hides in the hills far to the south, awaiting the day when he might re-unite with his lost love (though it's unlikely).

"I always take my wife morning tea in my pajamas, but is she grateful? . . . No, she says she'd rather have it in a cup"

"Why does Captain Kirk's wife smell?"

"Because William Shatner!'

 

 

Buh-Bum