Shadowdark #5 'When is a Gelatinous Cube, not a Gelatinous Cube? When it's a jar of course!'

 Moving into the 'perfectly safe forest way - what can go wrong?', in order to find way to the caves of chaos, our intrepid party pretty much lose their bearings amongst the giant trees, the dank forest floor, the impressively tall trees...and the weird Dryad folk.

Not Brian...

Encountering a group of three of these (Evie, Sevie and Bryan(!) ), the green treefolk beg them to find their home-stone, which has been stolen by a Forest Troll (what can go wrong?). They agree to guide the party out of the forest, if the 'stone of great magic' is returned to them.

The dank and shiny...forest floor

Guiding the reluctant party to a ruined castle, wherein they find reference to an 'Ancient King', the delve into the dungeon level.

That first corridor seems remarkably clean, and somewhere in the distance, they see...a floating skeleton, with remains of Dryad around it..wait...floating, clean corridor, chemical smell...

That can mean only one thing! They have contract cleaners! ..or, it's a GELATINOUS CUBE!

"Gelatinous Cube!!!!"...with a brass top...not a jar...no, honest.

 

"LIDDA! NOOOOOOO!"

it fills the corridor and engulfs Lidda Puddlefoot the halfling, after almost killing Bjorn, who collapses paralysed, Lidda rescued in the nick of time by Bernard, who hacks in with a pick and wrenches her to freedom. The party flees back to the surface as the G Cube 'horrifically tidies up after them'....therein, lies the secret to defeating it!  

The party duly assemble all the rubbish up top, before dispensing it in front of the G Cube with clean freak OCD, who snuffles up the rubbish, almost impervious to the party that hack at it with weapons doing half damage, before fleeing. Just on the verge of having used all the crap they can find, a critical hit manages to split the cube in two and it melts into the cracks in the corridor, finally releasing the long dead dryad skeleton that gave it away in the first place.

Dumping crap, and running away bravely...

 Entering the chamber at the end of the corridor, the party encounters the Forest Troll in the middle of a venison lunch! 

 

The hungry troll, and the baaaad dice rolls

"So, your honour...I was just having lunch and they broke into my kitchen like..!"

Combat ensues, with possibly the worst set of party dice rolls EVAR!...but the unlucky troll, who seems somehow possessed by the strange arcane rock fragment that glows purple in its nest, is ultimately defeated...despite a cleric spell fumble, a few knockdowns, and the breakage of the holy, Elven magic sword 'Quenya'..'you have broken..what could not be broken!' ...oh well ...

 The party takes the stone...and decides what to do next, as the cleric is compensated by finding a weird mace amongst the troll's gear.

Call of Cthulhu, Episode #9 'Night of the Witch'

 Having rescued the MacCrae baby, the characters retreat from the hill...a few minutes later, the boom of the 'device' that Sinead planted satisfies them that at least somebody tried to start the car at McBain's cottage...

But...all is not well with the Professor, who passes out from the poisonous snake bite, and who seems to be in a coma of sorts. They take him to Ian's house and leave him there with Ian's wife as, they journey to return the baby to the MacCraes.

As the MacRaes are tearfully reunited with their lost daughter, Sinead keeps watch from the barn, hearing a ...soft song, a chant, out at the tree line ...a chant that becomes ritualistic, mournful, magical...and louder...

The party sees her now...the French witch, hundreds of yards away, summoning something which threatens to engulf the woods from which it comes, a goat slaughtered at her feet to pay homage to the 'thing' coming from the night, toward them, with ill intent.

The Thing from the woods...

 

Opting quickly, to get the hell out of Dodge after firing a few ineffective shots from the Lewis gun, the characters almost fail to start the car, but manage to get away, ultimately secreting the MacCraes up north, then returning to Inverness to check on Margaret and Erma at the guesthouse...they are clearly being followed, but decide to research the local library. Taking precautions, and realising that Margaret has leaked information to her brother back in Cannich, they send her back ...with Ian. What could go wrong?

 

Not a Scottish stereotype

Later, in the library however, they find that the witch, Anne Chantraine, bears remarkable similarity to the seventeenth AND eighteenth century witch 'Anne de Chantraine' burnt at the stake...twice. Once could be an accident, twice just seems downright careless. 

Anne Chantraine with her make-up on...

 

...aaaaaand without

Now they realise what they are dealing with, is not altogether wholesome...they immediately phone Ian's farm to ensure that he got home, with Margaret, who seems completely trustworthy. Doesn't she?

There is no answer... 

 

Call of Cthulhu, Episode #8, 'Snakes! Why'd it have to be Snakes?'

 Resolving to interview Margaret to determine how and why she knew Henry Hancock, the Professor and Sinead knock on the door of the tenement house they saw her enter. 

Determining that she lives with her brother, she confides in the characters, telling them of the witch cult in the town, and that Henry ended up uncovering too much.

She knows that the coven has one piece of the disc, and Henry had two (the characters rescued one of these). The disc is vital to the witches, and the French woman Anne Chantraine, arrived to secure the pieces for 'some larger shadowy organisation with cosmically ill intent' (of course).

Outside MacLeoid and McDaid spot that they are being shadowed by teh green car. The characters resolve to head to Inverness with Margaret - where she will be safe with Erma at her guesthouse (they hope). 

The green car follows, and they plan a bloody ambush, just as it turns off and heads back to Cannich.

The next day they return to Cannich, and Ian McDonald's farmhouse, speaking with the local mad drunk Willy Wassel...who tells them of all the things he had seen at 'the standing stones'. Professor Von Junzt correctly determines that Willy is not drunk, but has been driven insane by something he has seen... at the stones.

 

So AI interprets 'mad Scottish drunk from the 1920s as a 'dodgy looking bloke in a kilt and DM boots'

Using the 'Scooby Doo'; rule, they head straight for the standing stones, armed to the teeth.

There they find four large obelisks, and the remnants of ancient central stone- all very similar to what they once saw at Loch Fein a year previous. At the base of the drumlin, on the other side of the hill, is of course the green car, outside the cottage of Duncan McBain...

Honestly - I was very specific. AI? Not so much.

 As Sinead subtly disappears (on an 04 sneak roll) she decides to booby trap the car at teh base of the hill, with her demolition skill...it won't end well. As the party wonder where Sinead has disappeared to, McDaid swears he hears a baby crying inside the hill (on a listen roll of 07).

Yeah. I wouldn't drive this one for a while. It's gonna fail MOT

 With Sinead's return, they find a secret entrance under the central standing stone, and a flight of ancient stone steps. Moving downward, heavily armed, they find the missing MacCrae baby, under the shadow of the central stone's foundation...and then they see the snake- things. 

Sssss ssss ss s

 Scarcely men and only part serpent, they are attacked by two of them, with a mass of snake men behind that...the one with the weapon is disposed of first, but not before the second takes a bite on the Professor. I'm sure it's not poisonous or anything...

"And so what did you say? Did you complain? ...'Oh yeah. I said .I'm not payin' for that, and went down the pub like...'

 

McDaid however, fails everything to do with SAN...and runs away screaming for 10 rounds.

Grabbing the baby, the characters manage to get out...and return to Ian's farm...

Looking to the bottom of the hill as they leave, Sinead sees McBain and the French woman emerge from the cottage.  I wonder who will start that car. 

'Ohhh you crayzee guys are in zo much trouble now. ...unless i start zee car of course...'

 

Shadowdark#4 The Keep on the Borderlands

 Guiding Tredegar Monchburger to the Keep on the Borderlands, the characters that inadvertently released 250 Dwarf zombies from the ruins of Kazad Mor, feel little remorse.

From left to right...Dagmara, Karlyle, Bjorn,Lidda Puddlefoot, Bernard, Jeralt the Holy, Balin...let's see who makes it...I mean, uhhh,  heroes all!

 

Amongst the survivors of the party of 12 that left Borderfell (or 'Boderfell' depending upon whether you belong to the government faction or the 'Free Boderfell' movement...) :

A nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there...

• Dagmara the 1/2 orc wizard
• Karlyle the Elf Priest of Madeera
• Bjorn the big chinned fighter
• Bernard (that's Bernaaarrrrd), the Dwarf Priest of St. Terragnis
• Lidda Puddlefoot, the halfing fighter with plate armour (long story)
• Jeralt the Holy - Paladin to the Holy House of the Loyal Dread Chapel of Lady St. Terragnis (loyal faction)
• Balin the wily dwarf thief 

Within hours, and having met but a few of the locals (including, from afar, the strange Witch of the Tower, and old JoMaMa, the head of the Chapel...), Tredegar, in a panic tells them that his brother Justin has been kidnapped by forces unknown at the caves of chaos...can they help?

 Tooling up, the merry band heads out, hoping to outflank the caves by heading through the haunted woods to the north.

Totally makes sense to outflank the caves, by going through the haunted, cursed, deathly hallows, spider, woods of the dead priest emperor...

 What could go wrong? 

Shadowdark #3...escaping Kazad Morrrr

 With the characters reduced from 12 to 7, odds were not in their favour...

They did however, manage to find and destroy the Eye Priest, who brought the curse to Kazad Mor in the first place...despatching him with a critical which ended up rolling triple damage, from the dagger of a half-dead, half-orc, apprentice sorceress...long story. 

 

The characters that survive...now names, not just numbers, of which more next time. One halfling survived, which normally never happens. I habitually ban hobbits and their ilk from most games, pubs, festivals, football games, taxis and weddings. Little gits.

Moving north toward a hopeful way out, they discover 'the Defender' - a massive stone golem, with attitude, which they again critically hit with pick axes (which stone golems really don't like). This leads them to the treasure room, wherein they manage to gain some useful magic items (including an elven blade, which dislikes lying, and a dwarven shield, which may be a bit of an earth elemental.

The eye-priest did not die well...thanks to a random 20 and a roll on the crit table...lucky bastards

 Finding the stone bridge controls, they extend the exit bridge, then retract it, having fun sending many dwarven zombies to the lava river, before realising that the only way home is to keep the bridge extended, and 'unwittingly' permit a hundred zombie dwarves to find their way into the snowy mountainside.

Glad at last to no longer be simply numbered pieces of cardboard if they survive, the characters engage 'Tim' the Stone Golem...

They have however found their quest-item...the mythical 'Rune forge' which they deliver back to the dwarf Sprocket, and make to head for home to the faction riddled rebel town of Borderfell (or Boderfell...since its very name is the focus of derision and hatred etc.)

On the way, the now 1st level, party of 7...help a merchant named Tredegar mend the wheel of his transport...and he, is on his way, to the village of Grommlet...

Not the basis for the next mini-campaign...no..no..I promise. Would I lie to you?

 

Barbarians of Lemuria

With Christmas delaying cohesive gatherings for the ongoing Call of Cthulhu campaign, there has never been a better time to give kudos to an rpg system which emerged from Simon Washbourne in 2008 - 'Barbarians of Lemuria.

The original 2008 free edition, which had lovely little art pieces from old comics etc

With inspiration taken from the books of  Lin Carter (and Howard, Burroughs) in his Thongor series in the lost continent of Lemuria, it is a uniquely simple and devilishly cohesive system, which has been turned to sword and planet sagas, Musketeer epics, post-apocalypse stories and more. it delivers a streamlined yet deeply flavorful experience. Its greatness lies in a combination of elegant mechanics, creative freedom, and strong thematic cohesion.

The core mechanic uses 2d6 + attribute + career vs target number (usually 9), making resolution, which works well, and things are fast and deadly. 

Then it got a proper dodgy cover in a nice 80s style

 

Instead of traditional skills, Barbarians of Lemuria uses Careers - professional backgrounds like Barbarian, Thief, Slave, Sorcerer, or Sailor. Players assign points to four careers, which define what their character is capable of.

This system encourages versatile, archetypal heroes with rich backstories. A character might be a Mercenary (2), Soldier (1), and Scholar (1), suggesting a warrior who later gained knowledge after being Captain of the Citadel guard. Very sword & sorcery.

Then a French cover - the game remains very popular in French transations

 

The magic system is freeform (i.e. you make sh1t up) and atmospheric, divided into three magnitudes:

• First magnitude: feats a skilled human could achieve with 'stuff' (e.g., scaling a cliff magically).

• Second magnitude: powerful effects like mind control or transformation. 

• Third magnitude: world-shaking spells like raising volcanoes or summoning storms.

Spells require specific, often dramatic (and thereby by the book) components (e.g., sacrificing a maiden, chanting in a forgotten tongue), giving the GM control and making magic feel rare and really dangerous. Similar systems exist for divine favor and alchemy, adding depth without complexity.

The Mythic Edition

 Hero Points are central to the game’s cinematic feel. They allow players to:

• Reroll dice

• Cheat death

• Turn successes into mighty or legendary ones

• Influence the narrative (with GM approval)

This mechanic empowers players to shape the story, reinforcing the larger-than-life tone. Points refresh between adventures, encouraging bold, heroic choices

Characters begin as competent heroes, not weak novices. Advancement is narrative: players earn experience by telling stories of their character’s exploits between adventures - drinking, gambling, seducing, or fighting. This keeps the game’s tone light and adventurous. Perfect!

The revised Mythic edition, with extra adventures translated from French fan scenarios

 

There are various editions and spinoffs, including the Mythic Edition and the Everywhen system, A great little game, and no crunchy rules crap!

 

Episode #7 'Trust me, I'm a Doctor...'

 Awaiting the approach of the McQuarrie brothers, the ambush positions of the murderhobos...I mean the party, have considerable advantages. They quickly make short work of two of the evil McQuarrie brothers, the Professor himself running across the muddy field to dispatch the third as he starts to tractor to get away (slowly - as chases go, it was a damp squib). Clearly, this party of so called 'academics' is not to be trifled with.

'Yeah...there seems to be a weight problem in the car we hired?'

 Watching the whole thing however, without taking sides, is local farmer Ian MacDonald - no friend of the McQuarries, and who turns out to be a good source of information. Being an NPC, he immediately trusts the people who just despatched the McQuarrie brothers ...uhhhh...

Inviting the rampant killers..um...the party back to his farmhouse, he relates the tale of the missing MacRae baby, Hancock's relationship with Margaret in town, and the general strange goings on around Cannich regarding the new French witch in town - Anne Chantraine, and her accomplice Duncan MacBain.

Merely an artist's impression of the mysterious Anne Chantraine, who may, or may not, be really old...

 The party resolve to try and find the mysterious Margaret first - as she serves them whiskey in the Cannich pub. They try to pass a note, but it is seen by the landlord...and quickly dismissed.

They note that she is wearing an elder sign on a necklace, similar to the one that Henry had been wearing...

 

Mags' elder sign...

They follow her, and note that she enters a tenement house, the door opened by a man...

Shotgun diplomacy may not be the order of the day this time...