Shadowdark #12 'Karlyle saves the day!' or 'Gary the sh1t goblin...'

 When we last left our heroes(!), they faced a goblin horde (well, a horde implies danger - not so sure about these lil green dudes)...who match their uselessness with an ability to make random grenades from crap, spores and other less than wholesome ingredients...

'That's not soap dude!'

Climbing into 'piles', they ascend across the shield wall presented by the magical artifact  'Mountainhome' ...though the characters, using Dagmar's light spell, and some theatrics with swords, manage to deflect the attack as the goblins retreat..not least because one of their number fumbles his grenade chuck, is covered in brown stuff, and has light cast upon him, driving the goblin horde nutz! (Christened 'gary' by the party...)

'A bright shining lump of cr*p'

The Mushroom hall

 Coming up with an idea to make ear-muffs from mushroom bits and centipede-legs to combat the 'shroom-shrieks (TM)', the party wipe out most of the remaining gobbos in the shroom hall.

The party manages to free Justin Munchburger and his wife Debbie before they were to be Goblin King Take-away (now that's magic!) and Jeralt takes them home aboard the Griffin...Drusus, the eldest of the brothers, seems less than happy to see them however (curious) and Jeralt lets Maureen the witch know what is happening, including the fact that that they have determined that her wand was traded for the prisoners - and is now in the hands of the Orc chief: White-eye ..she gives him a ring of invisibility to give to Dagmara, and tells him to be careful of the orc caves...'many have died there!'. 

'try not to die dude!...oh yeah, and get my wand back'

Reconnoitering the next cavern, and using information provided by Bruno the scientist... the characters determine that the Goblin King (not that one! jump magic jump...though he does have a blonde wig), is protected by large bodyguard goblins with explosive runes which make them blow when reduced to 0hp...not good (beep beep beep BEEEEEP)..

' i mean I think I look like David Bowie, no?'

 They elect to take a rest before descending next day into the the King's chamber, hearing armoured hobgoblin activity on the next level, that night...

It all starts so well, until Bruno tries to kill Dagmara (apparently having been hit by a spell from the Goblin King), is summarily dispatched, and the characters rush the chamber...of course Jeralt chucks a bunch of marbles to disorient the bodyguards, though this does not go well, and many of the characters on both sides end up on their a*se.

 

Uhh lots of floor clutter ...careful now, mind how you go. Do you have a Risk Assessment and Method Statement?

Elfin John, the 'new guy', sprints across the cavern to get a backstab on the King, and gets slotted by two bodyguards, bleeding to death on the floor (another new character required please - one more for the 'whiteboard o' death'). 

'

'Clear off halfling! ...dwarf...whatever ye are!'

An invisible Leeta the halfling/dwarf fighter, manages to stealth  her way to the spellcasting Goblin King, and stops two goblins raising the grille to the giant centipede lair...later fumbling on a '1' and whacking Jeralt the Paladin cold accidentally, as he follows to help her (oops).

'uhhh why did you hit me Leeta? '

Leeta also gets smacked to zero hp by the goblin bodyguards - who have been exploding on cue and damaging the characters when they expire. Dagmara ALSO is put to zero hp by a bodyguard - at this stage - HALF the party are down, spread all over the complex, and set to expire, one after the other.

Bjorn does some serious damage, as Karlyle the Priest, makes it his mission to rescue ...everyone. After securing Dagmara behind the Mountainhome shield wall, he races back toward the goblin King's chamber, with the invisibility ring allowing him to avoid the fight between the Goblin King and Bjorn...He has ONE chance to save Leeta, then Jeralt , as they are set to die one turn after he gets there...he needs to roll a 14 to save them from insta-death by binding their wounds...and manages to make BOTH ROLLS...give that man a sandwich! 

'

'Come adventure with us they said. There won't be any real danger, they said! Pfffft!'

 Back to (almost...remember Elfin John?) full strength. They raid the King's secret store, lucky to be alive...finding scrolls and a rather strange 'all seeing eye of truth' spyglass...fun!

Flying back, dressing their wounds...Leeta snatches a glance through the all seeing eye, catching a glimpse of Lord Trum watching them come in to land.,,seeing his TRUE form...and it is not good!

The true form of the head of the citadel...I mean, what could go wrong?

Call of Cthulhu, Episode #19; 'Who's going in First?'

During the night, McDade hears a dull roar in the bowels of the ship - I'm sure it was nothing, he reassures himself. Having become the reluctant hero of the voyage thanks to his saving of the Russian Count, McDade gets 'the eye' from the rich 'recently widowed heiresses' on their way to new York with chaperones (clearly more than we ever thought). The previous night, he swore he heard a dull roar in the bowels of the ship - I'm sure it was nothing, he reassures himself.

One lady in particular takes his eye, and he arranges to have dinner with Lady Roseanna Thorpe, of the Dewberry Thorpes, later in the day...little realising that it will be quite the afternoon on-board, even before dinner is served (it's steak night!).

That McDade dude gets around - must be the Scottish accent

 McDade, McLeoud and the Professor, wondering what has happened to Sinead, venture toward her cabin..where they discover a trail of watery 'something', and a sulfurous odour all along the deck. There also appears to be much consternation amongst the Purser's former staff, and he is nowhere to be found.

Rather than knocking upon the door of Sinead's stateroom, our intrepid investigators pick the lock and break in - clearly expecting trouble - though only finding her sleeping, and a strange wet watery seaweed smell in the room (and not in a good way), corroborating with what had been dragged there...interesting. Sinead wakes up with a start, wondering just what the hell they are all doing in her stateroom and shoos them out. Being gentlemen, they all of course leave valiantly, concerned only that Sinead seems 'fine'.

'Can't you see I'm busy?'

 But something is clearly awry on the lower deck; interrogating and fast-talking some of the Purser's men, they determine that his second - Frederick - is clearly very upset about something, and convince him to tell all...

Taking McDade and McLeoud to the Engine room, he shows the characters a bloody house of horror (roll SAN) where some 'thing'; has torn the former engine room native staff, limb from limb (literally). Amongst them lies the Purser - in bits! Fredrick explains that they have explained to the captain, who has enough problems it seems, but has undertaken to have search parties find 'whatever did this' with some shotguns and torches - believing that it is in the cargo hold. 

McLeoud easily convinces Frederick, that what they are dealing with, is a large feral Gorilla...and it is clearly looking for its mate. Frederick swallows nervously: "you mean there are two of them, and one is a lay-dee?"

 

Now that would definitely be a SAN roll!

Forming search parties, they convene on the large cofferdam like cargo holds to starboard, where coincidentally, McLeoud also saw his Lewis gun being loaded. 

'Who's going in first?' 

'You guys go in first!!!...oh go on pleease...'

 Entering the central hold, and checking the perimeter, whilst McDade takes a party up the middle - a hideous partial remnant of one of the native engineers is thrown from atop the stacked crates, slamming meatily against the steel bulkhead...

McDade manages to grit his teeth and go on, as McLeoud goes NUTS! (SAN roll) - seeing the clawed, heavy limbed, horrifically-faced monstrosity that is the Dimensional Shambler, eating a head and sitting atop the crates above them...Does he cower away in the corner? Does he scream unintelligibly? Nooo...he charges the thing (having gone temporarily insane), vaulting onto the stack of crates and climbing up like a madman.

McLeoud 'close assaults' the storage racking

 McDade pulls out the alien weapon that he picked up from the snake men a few episodes ago, and risks a shot, narrowly missing the raving McLeoud and wounding the beast with the death ray, then tries to follow his friend with Frederick in tow - the rest of the crew 'watching them heroically'. 

'alright, alriiight, ye can borrow it...'

 McLeoud empties round after round into the thing running straight at it, as it opens its maw, and readies its claws for its next meal...rolling a CRIT!...gripping him with its claw (and following with almost the least amount of rolled damage possible).

Is it even possible to statistically roll this little damage???

 

 McLeoud is still alive incredibly - blasting away, held by the thing, as McDade arrives with Frederick, shooting it again with the death ray...this time a little too close to McLeoud who suffers burns, and worse, from being so close to the alien device...and eventually the Dimensional Shambler tumbles down, dead..melting into nothingness.

Today Matthew - I am not a Balrog, but a Dimensional Shambler!!!

McDade calms McLeoud and advises a bemused Frederick to tell the captain that they had 'a giant tropical gorilla problem', which he and some passengers helped get rid of, and throw out into the ocean...sounds completely flawless! A panicked Frederick goes with the story, and ushers the crew away. ...but they all know what they saw...

Whatever happened, whatever 'deviltry' this is; the characters are reasonably sure it is all Sinead's fault... 

That night at dinner, Lady Thorpe asks McDade how his day was...

McDade knocks back the double whiskey...'ummmm...well, you wouldn't believe it my dear!'

'Oh it was just another day, stopping Cthulhu and his minions from eating the world dear...'

 

Shadowdark #11 ...'Can I have your Griffin?...oh go on...'

 Driving back the mischievous (and numerous) pack of goblins, noting their preference for chucking bags of 'explosive centipede crap' (which should probably be the title of this post) the party makes its way in the goblin caverns...noting a large sentient mushroom, being distracted and put off (with disadvantage) by its shriek (clearly fearing the frying pan).

Is that a giant centipede? ...or are you just pleased to see me?

 As they cover their ears, a large , giant, two-headed (of course) centipede attacks...as the crush of goblins watch from the sideline...and Elfin John gets behind for a backstab.

Ohhh AI...wrong goblins entirely!

 

 As most of the party fight it out, Dagmara, not one for messy fighting..and noting that the goblins do not like her 'light' spell, finds a hidden room.

'A secret lab in the goblin caves? How very unlikely!!!'

Inside, is that most unlikely of characters - Bruno the Scientist, seemingly allowed to pursue his 'goblin research' work since the goblins believe that his plague mask is actually his face. Altogether more interesting is the map of the keep belonging to Lord Trum amongst his wares.

'You seem trustworthy...'

He tells the party that he is researching the emergence of the monsters in the caves, and refers to hobgoblins in the upper reaches...wondering if the characters own the griffin he has seen and if...he might 'have it for himself'? He also tells the party that two human prisoners are held - for dinner, to be eaten by no less than the Goblin King himself. Clearly the merchants the party seeks.

Nahhhh...still wrong

 Giving a firm no to the griffin proposal, the party pursue the goblins..into their 'birthing' shroom lair...place...the biology of which bears no thinking about, but the characters remain convinced that the goblins love mushrooms...very much.

Much better!

 Facing an utter horde of green. smiley. vile little gits whose 'tee hee hee'ing is getting annoying...the party 'power up' the Magic Dwarven Shield - 'Mountainhome (TM)'...and form a bulwark, ready for the attack.

Mountainhome vs the Green Horde!

Brave Sir Robin ...I mean Jeralt...buggers off

Their aim, is to find the merchants they seek, and to eliminate the Goblin King...and probably he does not look like this one:

  

Shadowdark #10 ...Maureen the witch

Back at the keep, and visiting Maureen the Witch, after letting 'Elfin John' into the party, ...the party realise that there is no obvious door to her tower, and she communicates via a lowered basket - into which Dagmara the half-orc wizard, who is desperate to meet her in the pursuit of spell knowledge, lodges the dark and 'eeevil' pendant that she picked up in the Dwarven mines.

Lifting the basket, and Maureen finding what is inside, results in the tower's secret door being opened and the characters beckoned inside.

Clearly the witch thinks covid masks work

Dagmara the half-orc wizard appears to instantly impress the ancient Maureen, who asks if she and her party will 'rescue' her captured wand from the caverns they have returned from - she believes that the orcs have it. When questioned, she reveals that she, old Jomama the cleric, and the wily Castellan Trum, are all that remains of a larger adventuring party, who came to control the keep after barely escaping the caverns with their lives, many years ago. She also grants three spell scrolls to aid the party. 

There is much discussion as to where the party came from, and they tell of their past as imprisoned revolutionaries of the 'Peoples' Front of Bodertown' (as opposed to the 'Bodertown Peoples' Front'..who are of course SPLITTERS!)... not mentioning the preferred (by some) local title of 'Bordertown' as that is anathema to the principles of their movement! 

 Maureen tells Dagmara to be very careful, insisting that she will reveal more when they return - mentioning her suspicion that the Munchburger brothers are involved in some sort of corruption connected to the caverns, the orcs, dodgy dealings...and an ancient evil... They should also be wary of 'White-eye' the orc chieftain...even Maureen shudders as she mentions him.

'I mean...how bad could he be?'

 

'The reverse ambush helmet job!'

 As the first batch of characters set off on Jeralt's griffin, they notice an ambush being set up below - possibly for the rest of the party, by Rarius -  the fighter that Bjorn had previously fallen foul of in the tavern. Landing, they take him down, scattering the bandits...noticing that they appear to be moving back toward the caverns. Bjorn takes a new Hoplite style helmet from his sworn enemy...

'That's defo going on ebay!!!'

 As the characters resolve to take the goblin cave first, they know they are walking into a trap...and are immediately attacked by giant centipedes, who seem a little handicapped by Dagmara's light spell.As they clear the entry way, they notice many ...many goblins retreating back into the shadows... let's hope the light lasts!

No actual giant centipedes were harmed in the making of this production...

Call of Cthulhu, Episode #18: 'You rolled a what?...'

As Sinead gives the Dimensional Shambler its orders…it smiles a toothy hellish grin, and disappears.

'Uhhh...you wanna me to do whaaa?'

 

Meanwhile, the aft section of the deck has been given over to the Russian Count, and his addiction to playing Shuffle-Board with his retinue…who of course lose gracefully while the count wins every game.

Definitely not a pentagram

The characters realise that they can get no closer and strangely, the Purser seems to have been paid off to let the Count have control of the deck, and the yacht is keeping pace with the liner. Upon investigation, they discover that the yacht had asked to take photos and the liner has slowed somewhat to comply. How mysterious.

As the characters complain vociferously about not being able to sunbathe in the stern section, they stir up complaints in the pub with influential British and American travellers, after being offered free drinks. As they leave…the passengers have set up a committee, which will vote to ascertain members of a sub-committee – each striving to gain a greater national advantage, with a view to electing a head of sub-sub-committee, who will then go to complain to the Captain. Makes perfect sense.

'Clearly the decisions of the third sect of the 4th sub-committee (pending), will be final...'

 As the shuffleboard competition of one heats up…the characters notice (1) that the yacht is getting ever closer – despite their constant checking that there is no way for the yacht crew to board the liner and (2)…more importantly, the Count’s guards are now being distracted by the yacht…missing the real problem that is about to emerge as…

 ...'The Priests' – who were never priests – and are in fact Trostky'ites' (or something) rush the aft deck, shooting stewards and bodyguards alike in an attempt to reach their goal of ‘death to the oppressors and the Romanovs!!!’ as the main Priest pulls the pin from a badly maintained grenade.

Trotsky's assassins all along...makes perfect sense

 A quick thinking McDade rushes into action…sliding from the shadows, straight into the Priest carrying the grenade and bringing him down – pin extracted, now ‘phishing’ in timely fashion, …the device falls onto the deck, bouncing off the gunnel right next to McDade’s face as he goes sprawling.

'YEET!'

 

At this point he had to make a luck roll – five times POW…70%. 'Making it' means the grenade does not go off just yet, and he gets a chance to do something. 

Failing means he is dead-dead-dead and the other characters probably take some shrapnel damage…

He rolls ‘01’. ( should add that the last time I ran this campaign, EXACTLY the same thing happened with a roll of 01 – this, bearing in mind the odds being ‘1:100 AND 1:100’, at 10,000 to 1, clearly means that we are existing inside a simulation)…

He grabs the live grenade and ‘yeets’ it into the water…handily, almost absently, and wholly accidentally (he did roll a 01!!!) directing it straight onto the yacht that has been shadowing them – and, as it works out, the planned escape route for the assassins. Boom! (01s are always 'plot yanking'). 

...such a nice boat too...

He crawls away as the other two assassins shoot and miss him (his luck not seeming to run out) – then dodges behind cover to avoid the second shots…just in time as one of the count’s bodyguards opens up with a Tommy gun from the stern, not really caring who he hits…and bullets fly up the deck in ‘gangster’ fashion – taking out the would be assassins . The count is immediately moved to his cabin amidst a flurry of 1920s bodyguard activity…with any wounded, and McDade is the hero of the hour.

'Is that a Tommy Gun in my pocket? Why...yes it is!...'

 As the crew try to clear up what the hell just happened, the party do not admit to what part they played…though when the Count’s bodyguards come looking for their boss’s saviour– McDade agrees to come with them. The Russian count splashes cash to make everything 'ok, yes?'

Count Mikhael Andreovich Kurosov introduces himself, gives McDade a bear hug, and cracks open the ‘Wodka’ telling him that he is in his eternal debt. McDade sends for the Prof, who being an actual  Doctor, pronounces one bodyguard dead, and manages to save the other…both characters notice that the Count, amongst his bedtime reading, has a particularly rare book. Asking permission to see it, they realise its import – a 17^th century Latin piece with potentially dangerous information (so far, books like this do not last long if the Prof gets a hold of them...in fact, neither do NPCs for that matter)…as the Count explains that it is part of the reason he is able to travel, a man known as 'Septimus Crane', of Arkham, has offered him $30,000 dollars for it…he carefully puts it back in place.

'You seem trustworthy...'

Crane of course, the Prof recalls, is a prominent member of the Silvery Twilight – clearly something is very odd about this whole trip. Crane has also offered the Count his old house in Idaho, in a town called Black Knob…the characters look likely to both intercept the book and accompany the Count to the curiously named 'Black Knob'…as they vainly hope that the Sherrif is not called 'B.J.' or something.

As they all retire to their respective staterooms, Sinead hears the distant chanting of the islanders in the bowels of the engineering deck once more, though led by a voice she recognises – the Purser. She smiles quietly to herself, reasoning that the Dimensional Shambler might be a little more irate when it appears this time…

'If only I could remember what I asked it to do...'

 

…What could go wrong?...

Shadowdark #9...'the Horror, the Horror...'

Still in the creeper caverns and having opted to take a rest to recover, the character hear orcs outside, quickly realising that the orcs are returning to the caverns above after their patrol…clearly their base in the well established valley complex.

Proper pig faced orcs...none of that new fangled WoTC Mexican thing...

 

...I know right?

They continue to find the leader of the creepers, but are ambushed by ex-members of the Patrol who disappeared many months before and are now ‘creepy’ cannibal types themselves…

 

'OK there are only five of us, so we should be careful and not rush into anything m'kay?'

It’s touch and go for a long time…until finally they reach ‘Captain Kurtz’ – who disappeared on patrol from the keep months before  – a vile half man now, under the disease ridden spell of the creepers…and more animal than man. In a fight to the death, they leave the cannibal creepers stinking caverns, leaving only the defenceless alive… as Kurtz is dispatched by Sir Jeralt …’the horror, the horror…’

'CHARGE!'

 

'The Horror...the Horror...I swallowed a bug...'

The prize of 20GP hardly seems worth it, though the characters reason that leaving the area, via Jeralt’s Griffon, is the best idea…since they are now a party of five, scarcely enough to take on subsequent levels of the complex…

 

At the keep, a griffon does not go down well with the defenders…until the keep-guard realise, after the beast lands well outside the perimeter, that  it carries the characters. From the old tower at the entrance, the witch waves at Dagmara the half-orc wizard, at least cognizant of the fact that if they have earned themselves a griffon…perhaps these adventurers might be useful after all.

Yeahhhh...I'd be a bit concerned, if it arrived uninvited too...

A night of partying follows, where Bjorn manages to both earn the enmity of a warrior called Rarius, and the gratitude and life debt of a thief – known as 'Elfin Jon', who seems instantly trustworthy and who seeks to join the party, bringing their number back up to six …though watch out for that Rarius dude…

Gyve the dwarven smith later informs Karlyle that he can not fix his broken elven magic blade ‘Quenya’…but that ‘Maureen the witch of the tower'…might just be able to…

Definitely a witchy style tower

The quest continues.