Arik MorKom was once a fearless warrior, and 'tis said that he cruelly defeated the Black Knight of Shatner ...just so he could cross a bloody bridge!
But, that was many years ago. He met Shirley...ah..the Witch Queen when she was but an apprentice pants-scraper in the kitchens of the Sorceror Arsun Vanger.
Arik's knowledge was vast...and 'tis said that he showed the Witch Queen such feats of magic, that she realised that she could probably just kill the old codger and be done with it (rumour 'as it, she was shaggin' the milkman - that is..the dread Milk Merchant Saris..Kar (get on with it!))
Yes..right...anyway, if proof were needed...
It all ended badly. Now the MorKom hides in the hills far to the south, awaiting the day when he might re-unite with his lost love (though it's unlikely).
"I always take my wife morning tea in my pajamas, but is she grateful? . . . No, she says she'd rather have it in a cup"
"Why does Captain Kirk's wife smell?"
"Because William Shatner!'